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Battlestar Galactica

by: Anman
Total views: 154

This is my first hand exploded opinion of Battlestar Galactica. I have no edited or spell checked anything here, I really couldn't care less. I will have no doubt missed a lot of points, and many points can probably be countered, but the fact is, I hated this show and here is my initial opinion.
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I have just finished watching all of Battlestar Galactica.

Just to note, I made an effort to NOT watch a single episode before I could start from the begining. Every one was telling me how awesome it was and now that I have watched it all I wish I did not.

Boring.
It is boring. For ever minute of something awesome or interesting that happens, there is 10 minutes of bits that are boring as shit. If they cut the 4 seasons they have, down to two seasons, it may have kept me wanting to watch it each time. So why did I watch the whole lot? I'm a sucker for lost civilisations being found. Since the first episode, I wanted to know what Earth was like. And that is the ONLY reason I kept watching. And boy did they fufill my curiosity. Oh yeah. The spent practically no time about it or exploring what was there in more detail. And then the only reason I continued to watch it, was because I have a thing about completing everything I start to ensure I have the full experience and to make sure I can safetly give a proper opinion.

Retarded.
Every character here is retarded. The only character that has ANY worth or value or anything to tell your kids about, is Adama senior. And even he does a few stupid things. The entire show, is about these retarded people, and the retarded things they do. Its Bold and the Bueatiful in space. Neighbors in Space. Home and Away in space. Any boring mid day or stupid drama that you know where every one generaly sleeps around like sex is the same as kissing, every one is a damned Emo and cries and pisses themselves like a beaten cat, they constantly make dumb choices that insult me as an intelligent life form. I feel offended by the things these people were doing and saying. I would sit there and think only the dumbest of dumbest people would do these things. And as mentioned above, only Adama Sr. seems to be the expect to this rule. ONE CHARACTER. I am tired of modern shows being about everyone sleeping with everyone and making personal love mistakes and blah blah blah. People who like this, are people who have no anchor on just how shit society is. If I wanted to watch people have sex I would use the internet. And you can even see people without their clothes on.

Explosions.
BATTLE. star. Galactica. BATTLE. BATTLE. THERE ARE ALMOST NONE! Every damn episode was a bunch of people crying. There was hardly ANY battle or fighting. And when it started I was like YEAH YEAH YEAh.. yeah.. oh.. its over. Oh well. Back to the crying and shit pissing. If I really wanted to see this, I would have picked a more convienent show. Like Bold and the beautiful, Home and Away, ect.

Centurians.
They are the best thing ever in this show. At the start of every episode, where it shows one walking, or shooting, Im like YEAH! In many many MANY episodes, this 3 seconds at the start, is the BEST bit of the episode. More so when they were given free will for the first time. I was like, SHIT YEAH! Slaughter those slobering emo cunts. It was good. And then we never heard of it again.

Baltar.
Guy. Us. The biggest, most slobering vagina in the whole thing. And yes, this was also intentional. His personality is that he is a huge vagina. They wanted it like that. But what they really made, was a man, that constantly insults my intelligence. He is suppose to be a genius scientest, but every time he does something or says something I want to turn my TV off. And really I can't beleive he never caught an STD. It would have at least been a bit different to the whole PREGNANT cylon thing.

Every one.
Every person in this entire show, even people who arent shown, like "the people on this ship" are all idiots. Adama, the most excluded, but still slightly included. Constantly turning against the battlestar for the most stupid of reasons, constantly doing stupid things. All the civilians in this show are morons. I dont want to see society as it is in space, I can go and read a newspaper for that sort of shit. They are all idiots. Clearly the only reason they are alive is because of what the military has done. Oh no. We cant trust them. What do THEY know. Every issue, was an insult to my intelligence.

DAMN BALTAR!
WHAT SORT OF DIPSHIT FRICKEN MORON SCUM SHIT IDIOT DICK SHIT SHITTING SHIT MONGER DID THEY CREATE HERE?! Everything this character does is stupid. As mentioned above, everytime he does something I juts want to jam my nuts in an oven door. A show that makes me want to do that, clearly isn't worth watching.

75 episodes.
75 episodes of people crying. And occasionaly getting up to shoot a few bullets. Who, who wants to watch this? Women? Sure. I don't mind if a woman watches this. It's quite suited to them. And them only. Men who like this show, are really women. There is nothing else I can say. If you can put up with 75 episodes of emotional violence, then really, you're a woman. So how did I manage to do it? I just thought about the first 3 seconds of every episode with the centurian. It's a bit like that happy place you go when you're life is falling apart and you need to think happy thoughts. I just kept telling myself, it's ok, there will be an interesting scene soon. Only to see the quick 4 second episode summary without a single explosion. Or if it is an explosion, its something really stupid, like a missile falling off a rack in the hanger bay. boo... friggen... hoo. This is the equivilent of a car accident in a regular shitty drama show. Boring. Boring. BORING.

Religion.
Oh wow. What can I say. Without actually saying it, or trying to, they've not only insulted my sense of morality with this show, but my sense of intelligence, integrity, and my God.

Things I would have rather done than watch any of this rubbish:
Not watch Battlestar Galactica.

So in conclusion, society has shown me once again, it can vomit out a pile of shit, call it a show, and give it awards and then apeal to every idiots sense of entertainment. I just wish I listened to Walters.

About the Author

Anman is a person who hates having shit shoveled down his throat and then told that it's actualy pie. Sweet awesome pie of some berry flavour that usually tastes really really good. Well, it was a lie. They really just shoved shit down your throat. And I hate that.


Rating: 4.75

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